The only problem is perfection is a hard thing attain. The stress of planning the big day has the tendency to lead to tension and strain between a couple and their families — it seems a little counterproductive if you ask me. You are planning this day for one reason — to commit yourself to the person you love and want to be with for the rest of your life. Don’t let planning the day build a wedge between you and that very thing.
So what can you do to maintain your sanity while making your day everything you dreamed it would be?
Start with lowering the ante. Stop aiming for perfection because chances are something will not go as planned. It is impossible for you to control every aspect of the day. The reality is someone will probably be late, a vendor might not stick to all your requests, or grandma Jan might decide she doesn’t want to sit with cousin Vinny.
My friend’s florist forgot to show up. One of my bridesmaids didn’t come at all. In both of these situations, everything was fine. It worked out. They are kind of funny memories to look back on, and we still remember that day as one the most special days of our lives.
If you step out of the gate with the understanding that you will not achieve perfection then you will be putting a lot less stress on yourself.
Determine what the most important things are to you and focus on those. Obviously, the biggest thing should be who is standing at the altar next to you, but what is most important after that? Once you have made a list of the top two or three things you can focus your resources there. It might be wise to also create a plan B in case some of those don’t go as planned.
Utilize your friends and family members, or hire a wedding planner. You can’t possibly keep track of every little detail and also feel like you can breathe. Maybe put your mom on decorations, and your sister on staying on top of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Keep your eye on the prize. Remember what the end result is and enjoy the process. This day is all about you and your fiancé — and you will quickly find out, everyone else. Involve your fiancé in the process. Take time for your relationship whether it be pre-marriage counseling, taking a dance class, going to food tastings, or enjoying a much-needed date night. After all, there is no wedding without the two of you.
Author: Alison Pidgeon, LPC
Alison is the Founder and CEO of Move Forward Counseling, a boutique private practice for women with three locations in Lancaster County, PA. She is passionate about reducing the stigma related to accessing mental health services. She can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org.