A letter to the mom who feels invisible

Being a mom is hard work. It is perhaps the hardest job you will ever have. And, while it is rewarding in some of the biggest ways — smiles, hugs, “I love you’s” and seeing your child’s own individual successes (hardly possible without your backstage efforts) often times it can feel like your efforts go unnoticed. 

 

mom and son walking

We get it. Being a mom is demanding. It requires significant amounts of time and energy and emotional stress on your part. It is exhausting and many times feels pretty darn lonely. 

After all, you are the one managing life. Keeping tabs on school assignments, homework, forms, doctors visits, social schedules, extracurricular activities, playdates, birthday parties, travel, holidays, laundry, house cleaning, meals, the list goes on and on…and on. 

Emotional Support

Even on your most draining days, you are the emotional support for your children and your spouse. It is up to you to keep tabs on school crushes, bullies, friends, and other dramas. You are the one making sure your kids feel appreciated and your spouse is recognized for their efforts.

You are doing all of this and many of you are also holding down some type of professional job outside of the home—whether full or part-time. It is official—you are a rockstar. 

It is amazing to think about all the things on mom’s plate and how many moms report feeling “unappreciated” or “invisible.” In our culture a mom wanting to feel appreciated and praised for their mom job is often seen as something that isn’t necessary, it’s self-serving and even inappropriate. Well, that is just plain ridiculous. 

gold medal

Recognition for Efforts

You moms deserve a gold medal for all your efforts. You deserve the same recognition and praise that a boss gives an employee for working hard on a project and/or putting in the extra hours. 

To appreciate something is to value it, to be thankful, to experience gratitude—moms deserve this recognition every day (not just on Mother’s Day). It really is simple. Moms aren’t asking for exaggerated praise or high-priced, extravagant gifts, they simply want the occasional “thank you.” 

So, to the mom who feels invisible—we see you. Those lonely feelings you are keeping inside because you feel guilty about sharing them, talk about them. It is ok to ask for some appreciation, some gratitude. Speak up. We are here for you. 

mom friends

Next time you are feeling down on yourself, lean on your mom friends. Tell yourself you are crushing it — because you are. End the negative self-talk. Stop being such a harsh critic of yourself. Appreciate you and all that you do. 

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Author: Alison Pidgeon, LPC

Alison is the owner of Move Forward Counseling, a boutique private practice in Salunga (East Hempfield), PA. She loves helping clients find practical solutions to improve their lives and her therapy is cooking. She can be reached at: alison@moveforwardlancaster.com.